1. The Christian God is a personal god because he takes shit personal.
2. Interpreting the Bible for Christians: explaining that Jesus really meant something else.
3. There are two types of Christians: those that follow Jesus and those that follow the ex-Pharisee Paul. But only one gets crucified.
4. If according to Christian teaching, we nonbelievers will suffer eternal torment in the afterlife, then is not the Evangel, The Good News, precisely that there is no afterlife?
5. If laughter at something is forbidden, rational inquiry "uninformed" by revelation is also forbidden.
6. Optimists never refer to themselves as realists.
7. He was the kind of pessimist that wanted a medal for getting out of bed in the morning.
8. Is understanding your problem simply marking it on your psychic map as terra incognita? Profundity does not mean wallowing in the impotence of one's understanding—unless one is a Christian.
9. Church politics is particularly nasty. Christians close their eyes to unchecked egoism and ambition in their pews: God's chosen representative on earth can brook no opposition.
10. There is no right to ignorance, even though evangelicals teach otherwise.
11. He argued himself into his faith, then argued himself out of it.
12. If this life is a test from God, it's good that He loves us. Imagine what life with its diseases, natural disasters, birth defects, genocides, child abuse, and violence would be like if He didn't?