Other people typically resolve the paradox of personality by asserting that the unity element is “real” while the element of multiplicity is something that is only “apparent.” This, so the thinking goes, obscures the true nature of self and personality, even though there is no evidence for these assertions. Or rather, the evidence is startlingly weak: they have a feeling without thought or inquiry that their “self” is “real.” What does “real” mean? That the “self” continues to exist even when in a dreamless sleep and that it is beyond the vicissitudes of every day life. Even if this self grows and can be hurt, there is still faith in the self’s “reality” and unity. It must be something because it is there as if the self could be pointed to. The fact of the multitude of feelings, desires, and other mental objects may be safely ignored. For most people this “good enough.” In my case, however, this fact may not be so easily ignored. This blog is an occasionally spotty record of consciously incorporating this paradox into my sense of self.
The blog format of mostly daily entries lends itself to representing one part of my view of the self: that it is a paradox being in equal measure a unity and a multiplicity. The format of my blog itself is also a paradox. There are multiple entries on various topics that connect with one another by topic, frequency, and sequence. Some entries refer to other entries. Other entries build on the conclusions and substance of still other entries. And yet it is one document of a recognizable style and choice of topic throughout. This blog is a showing.