Monday, February 3, 2014

Some Poetry


And if it should come to pass
That beauty and love
Are begotten in disgust and filth
Upon a soul fenced in by its abysmal thought
That maybe, just maybe,
This is all that I am and no more,
Will I only sigh and turn away
To the minor charms and petty terrors
Of amusement parks and monster movies?

* * *


Is a half-hearted happiness
Better than
A whole-hearted misery?

When those days come
With no end of clouds and pain
And the sun has forgotten to shine,
Will past days of half-hearted pleasures
Matter at all?

Will past days in the sun leave me
With courage to shine
When all hope has fled?
Will a pill from a bottle
Bring back the sun
To push all the shadows away
Once and for all?

* * *


The ebb and flow of my thoughts
Once gave me pleasure
In their comings and goings.
But now,
The sweet water of my soul
Has turned brackish,
And I am afraid of snakes.
They Say There is a Pill

They say there is a pill
That will leave me with a smile,
Then I can work 9 to 5
(To build a responsible career),
Then come home
To smoke an occasional cigarette
(A guilty pleasure, I confess).
It’s a pill, they say,
To take away humiliations from the past
And if proud memories from the past
Are bound up tight with past humiliations,
What then?

* * *

Just Once?

Just once, only once, dear Christ,
To hang from a tree and mock Death?

Just once, only once, dear Christ,
To suffer and suffer and find final relief?

Just once, only once, dear Christ,
To rise in joy, clothed in light?

Just once, only once, dear Christ,
And not over and over and over, and yet once more,

Until life herself shouts in ecstasy,
Oh, just once more, only once more, dear Christ?

* * *

I Was Unimagined Once

I was unimagined once:
Everything from the past is settled,
So unlike me: unimagined,
Unforeseen, a calamity
To how things wanted to be.
A child’s forbidden words,
Forgotten prayers, pets lost to cars or left behind.
The past created with a waive of a hand,
A careless word here, a thoughtless gesture there,
A trail some might call a life.

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